The marathon we run in relationship


Marathon runners

Detail of the legs of runners at the start of a marathon race

I chose to use the word marathon — frankly, i have got no good reason, lol!— because it has been ringing in my head for some weeks now, OR maybe i recently watched the replay of the last 15th IAAF world championship marathon race in Beijing, China. When the then nineteen years old teenager; Ghirmay Ghebreslassie won Eritrea’s first World Championships gold medal.

Ever since then, the word “marathon” has been stocked in my head like a favorite new song. It has taken over my head thoughts and can’t annoyingly leave my lips.

Well guys, that’s not the kind of marathon i meant to talk about. You know why? because this’s not a sports blog — dammit, i can’t believe i just wasted some seconds of my life talking about the IAAF — even though this post could indirectly relate to it.

Chill guys, this the kinda marathon am talking about

Yea! this is the kinda marathon i meant to talk about the moment i decided to put up that catchy/messy little title up there.

Recently, i discovered that relationship is just like a race, not just any kinda race, but a marathon. Like every marathon the participants always come fully prepared and ready to get on the mark and go… Thats just the same way it is in a relationship.  Every relationship, always have the same story line at the beginning, story lines like: I still remember the first day he said “hello” and she looked so gorgeous; i had to say “hi.”

At that very beginning, we always have that unending kinda feeling two people feel, when they meet each other for the first time — don’t give me that “i don’t know” kinda face because i know you have been down that road before.

At that stage every thing seems so sweat, the texting and calling all day and the baby i love you words. That’s just the same way it goes down with the marathon, people come fully prepared, bought new gears, ready to do anything just to get to the finish line, no matter all the obstacle (crowded participant) yet the finish line is his/her ultimate goal. Thats the same way we enter a relationship. We come fully prepared to give it our all just to get to the finish line of the relationship — there is no finish line in a relation anyway, i’m just saying— yet, it seems like we didn’t do enough preparation because i am like, “if we do, why do people still break up.”

So what happens when the marathon is half way to the finish line?

Finally the marathon began and folks has made it pass some decent miles away from the starting point. But for every marathon there is always a unique thing happening and when i say always; i mean always. I usually notice that the same participant i saw at the beginning, all ready and full of energy to win, gets won by the marathon. Its either the participants pulls out of the race or he/she is lying helpless on the floor gasping for breath.

And i always wonder why it keeps on happening, why can’t they make it to the finish line, why can’t i just see my favorite participant with the nice looking gear win the race.

Here is why: people don’t win a race (marathon) because they a putting on nice gear; they win because they have 99% persistence and even if every body is falling off from the road and gasping for breath or they gently pulls out of the race because he/she can’t go an extra mile, they decided to press on and jug.

You see guys, that’s the same way we treat our relationship; the same way i treated my past relationship.

When i met my ex, everything seemed like heaven on earth, i felt like we were never gonna stop loving each other but i was wrong, i am sometimes. Almost about a year into the relationship, things came crashing down. Just like doing some miles into the marathon example i gave up there.

Arguments started flying in like weapons (missiles) of warfare in Syria.

Misunderstanding was like drinking an early morning tea

We started growing distance, like the width of an ocean.

And before we could realize it, we got so fed up with each other. Within this period of time, the only sentence we understood better was “it was your fault.

Like i said up there, people don’t win a race (marathon) because they a putting on nice gear; they win because they have 99% persistence. I will keep the 1% to myself if you don’t mind.

Now this is the point: We humans, as a result of our “emotions,” always go into a relationship like its a marathon and pulls out of it, gasping for breath because we don’t have enough perseverance to make it work. Once the yelling and Go to hell, i don’t even care, i made a mistake being with you, sets in.  We say goodbye to each other and hope to find another perfect person that we can be together with.

And i am wondering, still wondering right now.

When are we ever gonna find that person?

How many more relationships do we have to quit just because we weren’t strong enough to fight for what we truly share?

Is there ever a finish line in a relationship?

Will there be any special, kind and perfect person we can be with?

When are we ever gonna stop showing up for the same old marathon we run in relationship and end up some miles away from the finish line?

Maybe you do know when, how or if there will be any special person we can be with. To be frank with y’all, i can’t figure it out.

True love perseveres, if you have found it; i am more than happy for you. If you have not, i wish you all the very best of luck in searching.

As for me; i think i am still searching….

 

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